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Henry Christian is supermarket cleaner who spent three years selling the Big Issue in the mid 90s. He first joined the Conservative Party in 1987.He sent us this article he had previously featured on his own blog. You can follow him on Twitter at @HarryHatless
At work last week I was talking to an older semi-retired man. He has been a trade-unionist all his working life and for most of that time he was a shop steward. Now he is member of the Scottish Socialist Party and sits on the residents’ association of the council estate he lives in. So it was a pleasant surprised to hear him say, “I like that David McLetchie. He’s a good man – takes an interest in our residents’ association.” But then disappointing to hear him finish with, “Not your typical Tory.”
“Not your typical Tory” is a sentiment I hear all too often. Most recently I heard it from my wife. We had received a leaflet through the door from John Kilkenny who will be the Conservative candidate for the Sighthill/Gorgie ward at the next council elections. My wife had a quick look through it and said with a tone of surprise, “He seems alright – not your typical Tory.” When I asked her what she meant she expanded by saying, “He seems normal. He doesn’t come across as a d***head.”
Of course there was a lot of this sort of thing during the last Scottish Parliament elections whenever people talked about Annabel Goldie. People talked about her with a tone of respect and admiration, but there was always the suggestion that it didn’t matter how much they liked her they still couldn’t vote Tory. Annabel was somehow different; not like the baby-eating monsters that made up the rest of her party.
Of course I’ve had to put up with these comments myself. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been introduced to someone with, “Have you met Harry? He’s a Tory but… he’s alright.” (I have sympathy with a friend who gets annoyed every time he hears, “Have you met Lindsay? He’s a dentist but… he’s alright.”) I used to take it as a compliment whenever I heard someone say something along the lines of, “Aye, but you’re a sensible Tory. You’re not like some of those other nutters - those evil ones.” Well I don’t take it as a compliment any more. I take it as an insult. It, probably unintentionally, suggests that by identifying myself as a Tory am allying myself with a bunch of evil nutters. Now I tell people that I am a typical Tory.
The typical Tory is black, white, asian, gay, straight, working-class, bi-sexual, middle-class, transgender, retired, over-worked and out of work. The typical Tory had two legs, one leg and sometimes no legs. The typical Tory is too stupid to operate a pencil and has multiple PhDs. In other words, there is no such thing as a typical Tory, so I am happy to tell people that I am a typical Tory and I am proud to be a typical Tory. And I hope others will follow my example. If you are any sort of Tory at all then you should be proud to stand up and say, “I am just your typical Tory.”
So let’s all give it a try. Shout it out and see how it feels.
I AM JUST YOUR TYPICAL TORY